Friday, July 17, 2015

Sunvarmint Says Stop Talking About Flags Already!!!

Sunvarmint Says TERDS
As I stand here before you today, in this moment of history, I must acknowledge the history of history. Blah, blah, blah. 

OK...I understand. I shouldn't be surprised by seeing so many people still so worked up about the removal of the Confederate flags from government buildings. 


I don't mean to make light of it all. I understand symbols have meanings to people. But isn't that exactly what this crap is all about? 


I really, really want to touch base with my Southern brothers on this one. I am Southern all the way through. I love buttermilk cornbread, I like my okra fried, my chicken crispy, my cucumbers raw, my greens cooked and my grits any way I can get them. My family is Southern. My Paw Paw and Maw Maw were friendly, neighborly, happy, loving, and yes, racist. I don't think any of our grandparents were perfect, were they? I mean, we use cell phones, look at close ups of Pluto, pick apart genes, all kinds of fun modern stuff these days. We've learned. We've grown. We've adapted. Or at least a whole bunch of us have. 


One thing I learned from people who pick apart genes is that there is no such thing as race. Race is a false construct. But history...well, history really happened. And people who waved the Confederate flag used to tie up people who were black and rape them, torture them, force them to build roads, cook meals. It was called slavery.

Now this slavery thing was pretty bad. It really didn't help many people other than rich slave owners. Poor white people couldn't get some jobs because rich slave owners, well, they owned slaves. Why pay someone when you can just go ahead and own someone else. And if you're feeling randy, you can just rape them. Why...well because they don't have any rights whatsoever. And if you feel like it, just kill them. And the slaves. Well they didn't like the whole thing. I can't imagine why not. And poor white Southerners...well many of them didn't like the slaves all that much because of the whole jobs thing. You get the point I'm sure. 

OK. So now that we've briefly touched on the whole slavery and killing and rape thing. Let's talk about the flag thing. I know it's a cool looking flag. I mean the swastika is a cool looking symbol. The Nazis were a stylish group. But even though they dressed smartly, they were really quite unpleasant as a whole. So, why the comparison? Because slave owners were also quite unpleasant as a whole, and really guilty of the same types of crimes, only perhaps historically even more of them. 

So, the point so many have made by comparing these two symbols is, they represent stuff we might not really want to cherish in this modern age of space exploration.

I guess we have to touch on two things very quickly:

A: The flag in question is NOT the "Confederate Flag." The funny thing is, I've heard some people be so ridiculous as to use that fact to explain why it shouldn't be removed, or why people are being "hateful" in trying to remove it. I honestly just don't have time to waste on that kind of silliness. It was a flag of defiance adopted much later as a small part of the revised Confederate flag, which the rest of, by the way, was simply white, to represent the white race.  And it came from a battle flag which, well, was just a battle flag. And...it was inserted into many modern places as a continued act of this defiance and hatred. 

B: NOBODY IS BANNING THE FLAG! You can tattoo it on your thing, y'know, whatever thing you think of when I say "thing." You can fly it on your truck. The people who say stuff to you, either to whoop it up with you, or against you...they are also expressing their 1st Amendment rights. We all have those rights still. It's OK. Calm down. And please stop using the ignorant phrase..."BANNING THE CONFEDERATE FLAG!" You are lying. You are a liar. Or you are just stupid. 

So, now that I've explained this to you, and you have understood it and agree with me, let me just close with one last detail... The places where monuments, or flags are coming down, without mass destruction, are on government property. Oh, and the governments who oversee these properties aren't the Confederate States of America. Our ANCESTORS lost that one. 

Nobody is invading our country and destroying things. We are simply going to, as was suggested by the Confederate General Robert E. Lee "Fold it up and put it away."
  

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